"It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves."
~Edmund Hillary
Essential #6: Flexible Goals
There are many ways to climb a mountain. One path may be well worn and chosen by many travelers, but there are infinitely more ways to achieve the same goal. Perhaps the timing will be different, the route, the equipment, the traveling companions - you name it. Having Flexible Goals doesn't mean letting go of what you want or where you are headed, but rather being open to all the possibilities of achieving that goal. When you allow yourself the miss-steps and dead-ends and re-routes, on the path less traveled, you are providing valuable information to your system and creating a rich and informative experience.
In Children with Special Needs, having Flexible Goals can open up countless possibilities. Of course we all have high expectations for our children, and we should. But understand that we learn our experience. If we as parents/caregivers/practitioners/therapists continue to ask a child to do what s/he cannot, then we need to ask ourselves what is s/he learning? Anat reminds us: "If he could he would, if she could she would." Powerful, right?! Yet, if we hold those same goals loosely, we are able to allow for many different pathways to present themselves toward achieving that goal. We will not get stuck on something far-away, but rather celebrate the importance of the process and of the many different steps we take in moving forward. It may not be in the time-frame or exact way we were hoping, and ultimately it may turn out very differently that we expect - but an experience rich and rewarding, full of the "yes" of possibility.
In Children with Special Needs, having Flexible Goals can open up countless possibilities. Of course we all have high expectations for our children, and we should. But understand that we learn our experience. If we as parents/caregivers/practitioners/therapists continue to ask a child to do what s/he cannot, then we need to ask ourselves what is s/he learning? Anat reminds us: "If he could he would, if she could she would." Powerful, right?! Yet, if we hold those same goals loosely, we are able to allow for many different pathways to present themselves toward achieving that goal. We will not get stuck on something far-away, but rather celebrate the importance of the process and of the many different steps we take in moving forward. It may not be in the time-frame or exact way we were hoping, and ultimately it may turn out very differently that we expect - but an experience rich and rewarding, full of the "yes" of possibility.
From Kids Beyond Limits:
"Having Flexible Goals means always moving around those edges of present ability where the experience of success - and changes - are most accessible to the child."
"When we too rigidly focus on attaining such goals for the child, we and the child are less able to respond to feelings, experiences, information, and new opportunities.
~Anat Baniel
Read more about Flexible Goals on Anat's website:
"When we too rigidly focus on attaining such goals for the child, we and the child are less able to respond to feelings, experiences, information, and new opportunities.
~Anat Baniel
Read more about Flexible Goals on Anat's website:
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